I don’t generally like to compare issues of transwomen to those of transmen — or really talk much about transwomen at all — because I’m not a transwoman.  I don’t know what that’s like and I’m not sure I can talk about it without doing transwomen everywhere a vast disservice.  However, this is an issue that comes up often enough that I feel I should say something on the matter, even if it’s brief.

There are a few different things to consider when looking at societal support for transwomen vs. transmen.  First is public knowledge.  Is it easier for someone to learn about transwomen or transmen?  I’d say transwomen simply because people realise they exist.  Usually they’re referred to in disparaging terms that range from she-male to dude in a dress, but the knowledge is out there.  Most trans-related sites cater to transwomen unless they have been specifically designed for transmen.  When you see a support group for gender variant people there’s a very good chance that it will be made up entirely of people who were born male, whether they’re transwomen, crossdressers, or someone in between.  In this particular area I’d say transwomen win by just the tiniest hair.

On the flip side, there’s public misinformation.  Transmen don’t have to deal with much of this simply because most people don’t realise we exist.  That’s slowly changing now that we’ve entered the era of Chaz Bono and Thomas Beattie, but for the most part we’re unheard of.  Transwomen, on the other hand, have to deal with misconceptions ranging from all of them being perverts to a lack of hormones making a post-electro/laser woman grow a beard.  While being invisible does have its own problems, I’d say having to deal with all the nonsense people think about transwomen is probably more difficult.

What about public perception?  This is a bit different from public knowledge and misinformation, it’s more about how people react when they see a transperson walking down the street or — god forbid — using a public restroom.  In my experience, it’s a hell of a lot easier to be seen as a butch chick than a dude in a dress.  I’ve gotten both at various points in my life and while being seen as a butch woman is a pain in the ass (mostly because I’m neither butch nor woman), being seen as a guy in a dress is just plain unsafe.  There has been no other time where I have had to worry about people acting violently towards me simply because I exist.  This is another area where transguys generally have it a bit easier.

Now it’s time to start looking at more private relationships.  In terms of coming out to family and friends, it seems to be a mixed bag.  I’m the only transguy I know who got sent to de-queerifying camp (where I actually met the guy who let’s me steal his webspace for this blog) and then disowned when it didn’t stick.  I’m sure there are others, I simply haven’t met them.  I also haven’t met any transwomen who’ve had to deal with that so apparently it doesn’t happen very often.  I’d say there tends to be a pretty equal response when it comes to telling family and friends.  No matter which way you’re transitioning, there’s always going to be an adjustment period.

Workplace issues are another sore spot.  I honestly can’t say on this one because when I was working I was in a place that had something like six people transition within three years.  It was a ridiculous little trans haven, don’t know how it happened.  I’ve heard a few different stories about transwomen dealing with some shit, but I’ve also heard stories about everything going off without a hitch.  What little data we do have shows that transwomen tend to be higher educated, but vastly underemployed while transmen tend to have lower education levels and jobs to match.  I’m not sure which of those is worse, to be honest.

Then of course there’s the child rearing aspect.  Transmen tend to get less crap growing up because it’s socially acceptable to be a tomboy until around the time puberty hits.  Boys and men don’t have that kind of freedom, it is still considered appropriate to tell a boy that he can’t be a ballerina or a fairy princess.  Obviously this varies by family, but in general it’s usually easier to be a gender variant little girl/budding transman than it is to be a gender variant little boy/budding transwoman.  This may be why we see so many more transwomen doing the overcompensating, emulating stereotypes thing than transmen.

Medically there are differences, particularly when it comes to “how well” a particular treatment works.  Transmen are very lucky in that testosterone makes us almost indistinguishable from cismen.  While HRT for transwomen is certainly effective, they do have to go through more steps before passing than we do.  However, there is the genital aspect.  Surgical options to create a vagina are pretty damned good these days, to the point where some doctors may not even realise a woman is trans after examining her.  The various lower surgery options for transmen are not quite up to that standard.  I think this one may be a toss up.

Access to care is another major issue.  I know many transmen who started T without ever seeing a therapist, but I’ve yet to meet  a transwoman who was able to start HRT without doing so.  I know that it’s possible because the clinic where I got my first prescription has a form, I just don’t know anyone who’s done it.  Transwomen are also more likely to be required to do the one year “real life test” which is almost universally ignored for transmen (at least in the US).  For some odd reason doctors seem to be far more willing to allow a female to transition than a male.  Possibly it has to do with the same gender beliefs that make life more difficult for effeminate boys than masculine girls, I wouldn’t know.  Either way, transmen do seem to have it a little easier in some areas.  In other areas it’s near impossible to find a doctor who even realises transmen exist so this ends up being another tie.

When we talk about transpeople it is necessary to talk about violence.  In this case transwomen win the “people hate me” award by a landslide.  Partially because it’s more acceptable to be a butch woman, partially because it’s damned near impossible to tell who’s a transman and who’s not without removing clothing, and partially because people just plain suck.  Whatever the reason, transwomen are far more likely to be the victims of assault and/or murder than transmen.  Trans Day of Remembrance is Friday and as usual I’ve gone through all the lists of victims so I can add them to my giant spreadsheet.  Transwomen make up approximately four out of five trans-related murders world wide.  In NYC and Buenos Aires (who knew?) it’s nine out of ten.  It gets slightly more balanced when you include violence overall with there being a 70/30 split leaning towards transwomen, but we still get the better deal.  Transwomen are also more likely to be the victims of random attacks while transmen are almost universally assaulted/killed by people they know (usually sexual partners).  We all have to deal with transphobia, but when it comes down to the ability to simply exist, transmen have it easier.

So what does this all say?  I couldn’t tell you.  It’s virtually impossible to say whether a particular area will be more accommodating of a transman or transwoman, even if for no other reason than that it depends on who’s in your social and work/school circle.  Overall I’d guess that transwomen have a slightly harder time of it simply because there’s so much more social stigma against being a “girly man”.  Does that mean life is easy for transmen?  No, it just means that our struggles are different.

Related posts:

1. “I only date women and transmen”

Categories: FtM 201

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