Because I’ve gotten more Google hits for “are women who date transmen lesbians?” in the past day than I have in the entire time this blog has been up.

Women who date transmen are whatever they identified as before they started dating.  If a straight women dates a transman then she’s still straight.  If a bisexual woman dates a transman then she’s still bisexual.  If a lesbian woman dates a transman then she’s still a lesbian, but her transguy partner and fellow lesbian friends may call her out on why that poses some problems.

Same goes for gay men.  Gay men who date transmen are still GAY.  The presence of a vagina does not change the fact that transmen are MEN.  Bisexual men are still bisexual.  Straight men have the same issues as lesbian women, their sexual identity directly conflicts with our gender identity.  The couple in question either has to accept that conflict or come up with new labels for themselves (or drop labels entirely).  Personally, I would not be comfortable dating a man who considered himself straight.  It would make me feel like I was being seen as a woman.  Luckily, that’s never been an issue.

So.  One last time.  Straight women who date transmen are straight.  Gay men who date transmen are gay.  Are we all clear now?

In other news: Apologies for how quiet it’s been around here.  Friend of mine is going through a rough patch and I’ve been busy keeping him distracted.

Related posts:

1. “I only date women and transmen”
2. For the Non-Trans Gay Men: Liking a Trans Guy Does NOT Make You Straight
3. Only have a minute, but…

Categories: FtM 101, responses

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